Food Finds
by tmntyyh
Summary: There are many culinary delights in New York and Tony's determined to show Steve and Thor all of them...if only for the sight of their amusing reactions. Warnings are inside.


Title: Food Finds

Summary: There are many culinary delights in New York and Tony's determined to show Steve and Thor all of them...if only for the sight of their amusing reactions.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warnings: Swearing, basically food porn, Tony Stark, swearing, sexual themes, flirting, etc.

Side Note: Loosely tied to **Fluffernutter**. It's not needed to understand this, though. This is a shot opener. The next chapter will be much larger.

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Chapter One: Hospital Food

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"The nuts of peas have felled you?" Thor bellowed, sounding both upset and confused as he looked at Steve, who was sitting up on a hospital bed.

"That's one way to put it," Tony muttered to Bruce as he hid behind the other scientist. The Asgardian had returned back to New York far sooner than he was supposed to and the genius was completely taken by surprise. He had no time to run off and put on his suit in case the blonde decided to avenge his fellow blonde bombshell of a warrior all because the scientist was trying to educate him in the ways of food beside poached eggs, dry toast, and damn orange juice. The guy never said he was allergic to peanuts and sure as hell seemed to enjoy the thing before that whole throat-closing deal. Either way, his skin was back to a healthy shade of pale and his throat had healed up enough so they could check him out this afternoon.

"Peanuts," Steve corrected with a smile. "But, yeah, I guess so. I just have to make sure not to eat anything with them in it."

"So no pad thai." Twin looks of confusion met him and Tony could not hold back his groan. Honestly, these guys were living in Stark Tower and in New York of all places in the world! It was not a hard thing to do to ask JARVIS to- Then again, these were the two in the team that were not geniuses or world travelers. Granted, one could argue that all Thor did was travel and take down crazy shit from crazier places but that did not necessitate eating local cuisine. In fact, the only thing he had ever seen the big blonde devour were pancakes, Pop-Tarts, French toast...basically anything that was sweet. "All right, it's settled. We're going on a food field trip. Bruce?"

"I'm not going," the doctor replied as he shook his head. "After this incident, I just need to go back to the lab and have some tea. Feel free to call Pepper."

"Business meetings. If I bother her I owe her a new set of Christian Louboutin...or five."

"Ouch."

"Looks like it's just us, lemon-heads," Tony called out with a sweep of his arms, still standing directly behind Bruce.

"Our heads are not lemons?" Thor seemed to demand, making the engineer look at the gamma-ray time-bomb pathetically so he might get some assistance from the man.

"I think he meant it as a nickname," Steve offered up before a nurse walked into the room carrying a tray of food. The man winked at the super soldier as he set the tray down before waving at Thor and leaving.

"Did you just see that?" Tony said loudly in bewilderment. "He _completely_ ignored us and we're fine specimens of the human figure! When did we become chopped liver?!"

"Maybe he just likes lemons," Bruce teased.

"What is that supposed to be?" Thor demanded as he looked down at the plate of food that was sitting on a tray in front of the super soldier.

"Uh, scrambled eggs?" the Captain replied, looking a bit unsure of what exactly was on his plate.

"It's trash," Tony replied, quickly grabbing the plate and tossing it into the waste basket. "After all, it's a sin to feed a super soldier a tiny portion of eggs that are so overcooked they're gray. And that toast point? Pitiful. Your orange juice was fake, as well."

"They dare feed our Captain such sub-par sustenance?!" the demigod bellowed, causing the genius to grin slightly when Bruce gave him a see-what-you-just-did look.

"Calm down, Shakespeare," he calmed before pulling out his phone, and tapping across the glass screen. "I can easily fix this. How do you both feel about donuts?"

"Donuts?" Thor repeated, sounding both confused and intrigued.

"You'll love them. Promise. I'll get three of every flavor."

"Tony..." his fellow scientist admonished, smiling slightly as the two blonde's looked at each other and shrugged. "Start with something that's actually breakfast."

"McDonalds it is!"

"Is he not a farmer that has chickens?" Thor asked, blinking when Tony began to laugh. "Miss Darcy has assured me of such! He has chickens, pigs, and cows!"

"Do they cluck, oink, and moo?" the genius teased as he continued to type. "We'll get five of everything simply because their menu is lacking and Team Captain Thunder over there can really pack it away."

"This is going to be so bad," Bruce chuckled as he walked out of the room with Tony on his heels, the other man calling back that they would be back soon.

"Well, that was strange," Steve said as his companion nodded.

"Verily. They will bring a feast though," he added with a wide grin. "Ready your stomach, my friend, as I can devour my fair share and then some!" He laughed when the super soldier nodded and smoothed out the blankets.

"Same, I never did get to have breakfast..."

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